Two weeks ago, we finally met with the lawyer about securing as many protections for baby girl as possible. We were able to both adopt A in WI as long as I first severed my rights as a bio mom. (Totally, not awesome that I had to do so, but two legal parents is way better than one.)
So, we knew that MI would in no way offer us any such options. We had also found out a few weeks prior that a guardianship would not even be an option, which was VERY upsetting. So, when we met with our lawyer, we were hoping to hear that there was something we could do other than moving to another state to establish residency over the course of 3-6 months and then pursue a second parent adoption.
We learned that there are three states in the United States of America that claim jurisdiction based on place of birth when it comes to second parent adoption: New Jersey, Texas, and Washington. (Texas? - anyone care to explain? Austin only? I have so much to learn!) So, as of mid-May (early June due date), we are packing up and taking an extended vacation to NJ to birth and begin second parent adoption paperwork. It is our understanding that we won't even have to return to the state after the initial filing. We will just pay big bucks to the lawyer there and then wait for the confirmation paperwork in the mail. Given our other options, sounds pretty easy.
The irony of all of this (well, there are many ironies, actually, but we shall focus on just one for today) is that we moved back to MI from WI to be near our family. A's birth was so traumatic for me, and having family six hours away only enhanced the terror/fear etc... I/we had. We thought we'd move home and never have to be away from our family for anything big again. Well, obviously not so.
The good news is that E's dad will be coming with us. He's always an amazing support system, and we are fortunate that he will be able to journey with us on yet another adventure. We will need him, for sure.
We are meeting with the lawyer again tomorrow. Lots to learn, plan, and accomplish in the next few months. If only my pregnant brain would go away so that I could do all three!
So, we knew that MI would in no way offer us any such options. We had also found out a few weeks prior that a guardianship would not even be an option, which was VERY upsetting. So, when we met with our lawyer, we were hoping to hear that there was something we could do other than moving to another state to establish residency over the course of 3-6 months and then pursue a second parent adoption.
We learned that there are three states in the United States of America that claim jurisdiction based on place of birth when it comes to second parent adoption: New Jersey, Texas, and Washington. (Texas? - anyone care to explain? Austin only? I have so much to learn!) So, as of mid-May (early June due date), we are packing up and taking an extended vacation to NJ to birth and begin second parent adoption paperwork. It is our understanding that we won't even have to return to the state after the initial filing. We will just pay big bucks to the lawyer there and then wait for the confirmation paperwork in the mail. Given our other options, sounds pretty easy.
The irony of all of this (well, there are many ironies, actually, but we shall focus on just one for today) is that we moved back to MI from WI to be near our family. A's birth was so traumatic for me, and having family six hours away only enhanced the terror/fear etc... I/we had. We thought we'd move home and never have to be away from our family for anything big again. Well, obviously not so.
The good news is that E's dad will be coming with us. He's always an amazing support system, and we are fortunate that he will be able to journey with us on yet another adventure. We will need him, for sure.
We are meeting with the lawyer again tomorrow. Lots to learn, plan, and accomplish in the next few months. If only my pregnant brain would go away so that I could do all three!
we're the texas ones!
ReplyDeletethe two counties that do 2nd parent adoptions (first parent does not have to relinquish rights btw) are travis (austin) and bexar (san antonio). if for some reason you can't do nj, feel free to come here. we'll have you over for a playdate!
...not even kidding a little.
It's totally rubbish that you have to go through such a palaver!
ReplyDeletewow. this is all so fucked. i'm glad you've worked out a solution, but why should you have to?
ReplyDeletei truly believe this will change in our lifetimes, but it doesn't make the hoops any easier to take.
wow. thank goodness for New Jersey! I'm just curious--will your health insurance cover the birth if it's in another state?
ReplyDeleteYes, our health insurance has national coverage.
ReplyDelete