My story has a lot more pain than I ever imagined it would. I am not one who considers myself a victim. Sure, I've had times where I felt like a victim of this or that, but in general I feel very in control of my life. When things don't go my way, I know there are things I can do to change my circumstance.
TTC was so hard because of how little control I had over my own body. Once we got pregnant, I figured I would have normal problems to consider. I anticipated difficulty with sleeping and breast feeding. I knew I wouldn't have all of the answers: sometimes my baby would probably cry in spite of everything I was doing to help him.
My story, though, didn't work out that way. My story began with a near-tragedy.
A situation that some nurses told me I should feel grateful for because they could fix my baby. His problems, to the doctors, were relatively straighforward and easy to fix with no long term complications. Nevermind that even now as I type this my throat is lumpy with tears. My boy is fine, but my time with him was ripped away, and now I work 45+ hours each week and he spends that time in a daycare where I can never get my time back with him. Never. I will never get to struggle through breast feeding problems only to have success and ample supply. I don't even remember when his umbilical cord came off. His first bath was in a hospital, and
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